What Should You Do When a Buyer Becomes Confrontational?
When a buyer or prospective customer makes an aggressive or confrontational remark, what’s your instinctive reaction? Do you push back? Do you try to correct them? If so, what usually happens next?
For many sales professionals, the natural response is to defend themselves or their company. It’s human nature to want to set the record straight, especially if the buyer is misinformed. However, the best sales professionals don’t engage in a verbal tug-of-war. Instead, they take a different approach: they fall back.
Why Pushing Back Doesn’t Work
It’s natural to feel defensive when confronted, much like in personal relationships. Imagine your spouse or partner saying, “Why do you always leave the kitchen such a mess?” A knee-jerk response might be, “Well, why do you always exaggerate? I’m the one who loads the dishwasher every night!”
What does this accomplish? Nothing productive. It only fuels the conflict and leads to a cycle of defensiveness and escalation. The same applies in sales. If you push back against a buyer’s complaint, you risk amplifying their frustration instead of resolving it.
A More Effective Approach: Own It and Move Forward
When faced with an unhappy or confrontational prospect, the key is to take ownership of the issue, acknowledge their frustration, and redirect the conversation.
For example, if a buyer says:
“Your company has terrible customer service. I was on hold for forty minutes the other day. You have a lot of nerve calling yourselves a customer-first company.”
Rather than getting defensive and listing your company’s customer service awards, try this response:
“I’m really sorry you had to wait that long. That sounds like a problem we need to address. I’ll bring it up in our next team meeting to ensure we’re improving. In the meantime, here’s my cell number. If you ever need anything, reach out directly, and I’ll make sure you get the help you need.”
Why Taking Ownership Changes the Conversation
When you acknowledge the issue and take responsibility, something surprising happens: the buyer’s aggression often fades. By choosing to take ownership rather than argue, you de-escalate the situation and create a more constructive dialogue. Instead of trying to “win” the conversation, you shift the focus back to solving the buyer’s problem.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Sales
As sales professionals, it’s our job to adapt to the buyer’s communication style, not the other way around. Sometimes, this means staying calm and composed even when the buyer is not. A defensive response can make a tough conversation worse, but an empathetic and solution-focused approach builds trust and moves the discussion in a positive direction.
Key Takeaways
Don’t push back. Defending yourself only fuels the conflict.
Take ownership. Acknowledge the issue and commit to addressing it.
Redirect the conversation. Once emotions settle, guide the buyer toward a productive discussion.
Keep your ego out of the sales process. Your goal is to build trust, not “win” an argument.
By following these principles, you’ll turn difficult sales conversations into opportunities to build stronger relationships with your buyers.
Bonus Sandler Resource: 100 Great Sandler Questions… And When to Ask Them. Download now to take charge of your next conversation by asking the right questions at the right time.
