Pain vs. Pleasure: What Really Motivates Buyers to Say Yes?
When you meet with a new prospect, how do you position what you’re selling?
Do you focus on features and benefits? Emphasize functionality? Highlight competitive advantages?
If so, you’re not alone—but you might be missing the mark.
Here’s the truth: Until you understand what’s motivating the buyer, you’re just guessing at what matters to them. The most effective salespeople don’t pitch. They probe. They ask the right questions to uncover whether the buyer is motivated by pain or pleasure—and they tailor the message accordingly.
What Drives Buying Decisions?
Most psychology and sales research agrees: People buy for one of two reasons.
To gain pleasure (achieve a goal, hit a number, look good to the boss)
To avoid pain (reduce risk, fix a problem, stop stress)
Both are powerful motivators—but one typically dominates a buyer’s perspective. Your job is to find out which side of the coin your prospect is focused on.
A Real-World Example: Two Motivations, One Sale
Consider Jorge, a VP of Production struggling with a bottleneck on the factory floor. The issue is hurting performance and drawing unwanted pressure from the CFO. He’s losing sleep. That’s pain.
Enter Dylan, a process consultant who helps resolve the issue. Profits return, pressure lifts, and Jorge sleeps easy again. That’s pleasure.
So what motivated Jorge? Pain? Or the relief and satisfaction that followed?
The answer is both.
Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin—and only the buyer gets to choose which side faces up.
The Secret: Ask Better Questions
You can’t guess which motivator drives your buyer. You need to ask. Effective questioning reveals not only the facts of the situation but also the emotional context behind them.
Ask open-ended, probing questions like:
“What prompted you to reach out?”
“What’s the ideal outcome for you?”
“What would happen if nothing changes?”
Now listen carefully. Here’s how different answers can reveal buyer motivation:
Pain response: “Our CFO is on me nonstop about the cost overruns and downtime from the assembly line issues.”
Pleasure response: “I’m aiming to boost output by 10% and smooth out throughput across the next quarter.”
Both describe the same situation—but one is rooted in pain, the other in aspiration. The difference is subtle, but critical.
Match Your Message to Their Motivation
Once you understand which way the buyer leans, you can position your product or service accordingly:
If they’re pain-focused: Emphasize risk reduction, cost avoidance, or relief from current frustrations.
If they’re pleasure-focused: Focus on gains, growth, opportunity, or hitting goals.
Aligning your sales message with the buyer’s dominant motivation improves engagement, deepens connection, and increases your close rate.
Win More Sales Conversations with This Simple Shift
Want to elevate your sales conversations and close more deals—without guessing what your prospect cares about?
Let’s talk. We help sales teams master the art of questioning, uncover motivation, and turn sales calls into meaningful buying conversations.
Bonus Sandler Resource: As a sales professional, your job is to ask the buyer questions until you understand what is needed to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Download this complimentary guide to take charge of your next conversation by asking the right questions at the right time.
