Most salespeople learn early that a selling system is essential. What they often miss is that buyers have a system of their own. When those two systems collide, the interaction becomes what Sandler calls the buyer seller dance. Someone is always leading. Either you guide the conversation with a clear, repeatable process, or the prospect quietly pulls you into theirs.
Understanding how buyers naturally try to take control is the first step to maintaining equal business stature. When you recognize the patterns, you can protect your time, qualify more effectively, and focus your energy on opportunities that deserve it.
Below are four common buyer strategies Sandler warns sellers to watch for, along with how they impact the sales process.
1. Withholding Information
Some buyers reveal almost nothing about their situation, needs, or decision process. They ask question after question, then close the conversation quickly. This is not randomness, it is a defensive move rooted in fear of being pressured or manipulated.
Without a system, sellers fall into the trap of talking too much, pitching too fast, or guessing at problems. With a system like Sandler’s, you slow the process down, set clear expectations, and uncover why the buyer is reluctant to share.
2. Information Gathering Without Commitment
This is the classic unpaid consultant trap. The buyer does not fully trust you, but they know you have something valuable. Often, it is not your product, it is your expertise.
If you volunteer every insight, fix, or recommendation without gaining anything in return, the buyer gets smarter while you get sidelined. A selling system helps you protect your intellectual property by using commitments, agreements, and up front contracts that keep the conversation balanced.
3. Avoiding Decisions and Commitment
Time kills deals. Prospects who avoid committing to next steps usually extend the process with delays like needing more data, waiting on others, or doing more research. Gradually, the relationship cools. Eventually, the opportunity quietly dies.
Sandler Rule: You cannot lose something you never had. Without clear commitments, you do not have a real opportunity. A defined system keeps momentum by securing mutually agreed next steps at every stage.
4. Disappearing or Ghosting
After gathering what they need, some prospects vanish. Calls go unanswered. Messages go ignored. Assistants block you. Early career sellers often feel obligated to chase until they hear a definitive no, but that is a fast path to frustration.
The root issue is an unqualified prospect. When equal business stature is missing, you chase, they hide. When a selling system is in place, you qualify emotional reasons, budget, and decision process early so you never need to chase again.
Taking Back the Lead in the Buyer Seller Dance
When you recognize these four buyer strategies, you regain control of the conversation. You stay aligned with Sandler’s core principles: no guessing, no free consulting, no chasing, and no emotional involvement. You move from reacting to leading. And the buyer feels more comfortable too, because structure builds trust.
A repeatable selling system is not about pressure or persuasion. It is about clarity. When you guide the dance, both sides make better decisions, faster.
Ready to Stop Getting Pulled Into the Buyer’s System?
If you want to lead the buyer seller dance with confidence, predictability, and equal business stature, Gerry Weinberg & Associates can help. Our clients learn to qualify faster, close more consistently, and eliminate the grind of chasing unqualified prospects.
If you are ready for a selling system that works in every market and every conversation, reach out and start the conversation today.
