Self-awareness is one of those traits we all like to think we possess. If asked, “Are you self-aware?” most of us would confidently answer, “Absolutely.” But are we really sure? Do we truly understand how we show up in the world?
That’s where things get interesting.
A few years ago, my Sandler trainer challenged me with an exercise that changed the way I view myself and my leadership. The task was simple in concept but profound in impact:
Find five people you deeply trust. These should be individuals who genuinely have your best interest at heart—people you feel safe with.
Ask them one question: “How do I show up in the world?” Not how you think you show up, but how they perceive you.
Listen—really listen. The hardest part? You’re not allowed to respond, explain, or defend yourself. Your only job is to absorb what they say.
I believed I had a solid understanding of how I presented myself. And in many ways, I did. But when I started hearing consistent feedback across all five people—patterns I hadn’t noticed before—I realized there were things I was putting out into the world that I never intended.
For some, this exercise unveils surprising truths:
You’re different at work than in social settings.
Your words and actions are misaligned, even in the slightest ways—subtle discrepancies can have a significant impact.
Your presence is more intimidating—or more passive—than you realized.
This kind of self-awareness is critical for leaders. It ensures our actions align with our words, our impact matches our intentions, and our leadership is built on integrity.
Why Self-Awareness Matters in Leadership
When leaders lack self-awareness, they can unintentionally send mixed signals, create misunderstandings, or fail to build the trust they need. But when we cultivate self-awareness, we:
✅ Lead with clarity and consistency.
✅ Build stronger, more authentic relationships.
✅ Improve communication and team dynamics.
✅ Foster a culture of growth, accountability, and trust.
This exercise isn’t for everyone. It requires humility, a willingness to receive unfiltered feedback, and a commitment to personal growth. But for leaders who want to elevate their impact, it is one of the most valuable exercises you can do.
So, are you truly self-aware? If you’re willing to take on this challenge, I’d love to hear what you learn. And if you have questions about leadership, growth, or creating stronger teams, let’s connect!
