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Go for No: The Psychology of Rejection and Qualifying the Sale

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Professional selling continues to evolve. Remote workplaces, AI technology, educated buyers, Gen Z decision-makers… the cultural shifts that alter the trajectory of our social and personal lives undoubtedly impact our professional lives as well.

The one constant salespeople can count on is “no.” Sales is a high-rejection field and can weigh heavily on business professionals who face "no" every day. On the phone, via email, on a video call, or in person - the medium is irrelevant. The fact is not every prospect is qualified to be a customer. Regardless of technological advancements and shifting business landscapes, that will never change.

Sales Manager or Therapist?

So how can sales leaders and managers support their sales team through the ongoing rejection they face daily? “Focus on your goals! Toughen up! Highlight the benefits! Keep your funnel full…” there are endless anecdotal encouragements and advice to be given, but are they effective?

Take a moment to think about the individuals on your sales team.

  • What would they say is their biggest mental roadblock when it comes to achieving their sales goals?

  • Which of them would say they struggle with the mental and emotional toll that comes with rejection?

  • How long does it take for them to bounce back from the disappointment of a sale that they couldn’t close?

Despite varying answers from each team member, the bottom line is: they’re human. The American Psychological Association notes that “As clever as human beings are, we rely on social groups for survival. We evolved to live in cooperative societies, and for most of human history, we depended on those groups for our lives. Like hunger or thirst, our need for acceptance emerged as a mechanism for survival.”1 The evolutionary response to rejection is anxiety, panic, and even physical pain.

Salesperson or social outcast?

Logically, we know that a prospect taking their business elsewhere doesn’t mean we’re unable to survive or we’re a social outcast. But that doesn’t mean that our biological instincts aren’t feeling that anxiety. Our brains are not wired to simply “take it on the chin.” Psychologist Mark Leary, a retired faculty member at Duke University, suggests people feel accepted when they think that they have high ‘relational value,’ or worth, to another person or group of people. For anyone feeling rejected or struggling to feel accepted, the first step to address one’s concerns with rejection is examining the evidence as objectively as possible, and trying not to read too much negativity into it.2

Salespeople can’t be expected to simply turn off their feelings, but they can learn to recognize them and move past them faster and with less duress. At Sandler, we provide a variety of tools and methods that salespeople can implement to move past the instinctual emotional reaction to rejection onto the intellectualization of it. The concept of “Go for No” is not designed to help salespeople “recover” from rejection but to purposefully seek it and take control of the narrative of rejection.

Avoiding it or asking for it?

It may feel counter-intuitive to be looking for a “no” from a prospect, but not every prospect is qualified to be a customer. Sandler-trained professionals know to “qualify hard and close easily.” We propose that hearing “no” is not always a bad thing. Most “think it over’s” are just “slow no’s.” When we ask the right questions, take the pressure off the prospect, and identify a “no” early on in the sales process - that’s a win. Rather than waste time pushing our products and services on a prospect who will never buy, we disqualify them so we can spend time selling to prospects who need what we offer, have the budget to invest, and can sign on the dotted line. Rather than invest time and resources that will end in rejection, we “go for no.”

As a leader, are you providing the training and support to not just “handle” the rejection that comes with professional selling, but to turn the concept itself on its head? When your salespeople get a “no” does it impact their productivity and confidence? The rejection isn’t going anywhere, what’s your plan to lead your team through it?