Stuck in 'F-U' mode? Why “Follow-Up” Is Killing Your Energy (And Your Equal Business Stature)
Let’s talk about the most exhausting phrase in sales:
“Just following up…”
If your calendar is filled with:
“Checking back in”
“Bumping this to the top”
“Circling back”
“Wanted to see if you saw this…”
You’re not selling.
You’re chasing.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth:
The initials of Follow Up are F-U.
If you’re stuck in F-U mode with prospects, it often means the prospect is unintentionally (or intentionally) saying exactly that.
Why Follow-Up Feels So Draining
Follow-up fatigue doesn’t come from volume.
It comes from power imbalance.
When you’re constantly:
Waiting for replies
Sending reminders
Hoping they respond
Wondering if you did something wrong
You’ve lost equal business stature.
In the Sandler methodology, sales is a conversation between two adults — not a vendor chasing a buyer.
When you follow up excessively, you silently communicate:
“I need this more than you.”
“I’m okay with being ignored.”
“You control the process.”
That’s exhausting.
The Real Reason You’re Getting Ghosted
Ghosting usually isn’t about:
A bad solution
Wrong pricing
An email that wasn’t clever enough
It happens because you skipped steps.
Let’s diagnose like a doctor.
If you’re chasing follow-up, it typically means one (or more) of these things happened:
1. You Didn’t Uncover Real Pain
No pain = no urgency.
If they aren’t calling you back, the problem wasn’t significant enough.
In the Sandler approach, you don’t move forward until you uncover:
The problem
The impact
The emotional consequence
The cost of inaction
If they can live with the problem, they’ll live without you.
2. You Didn’t Establish a Strong Up-Front Contract
Most ghosting is a contract failure.
A weak ending sounds like:
“I’ll send that over.”
A strong up-front contract sounds like:
“If after reviewing this you feel it’s not a fit, will you tell me? And if it is a fit, are you comfortable scheduling the next step now?”
Or:
“If we can’t agree to reconnect, should I assume this isn’t a priority? Fair?”
No ambiguity.
No chasing.
No F-U mode.
3. You Gave Away the Farm
When you:
Provide full proposals too early
Deliver pricing before qualification
Customize without commitment
You eliminate their need to engage further.
They have what they need.
Now you’re following up on something they never committed to.
That’s not follow-up.
That’s unpaid consulting.
4. You Avoided Investment & Decision Discussions
If you didn’t clarify:
Who makes the decision
How decisions are made
What investment looks like
What happens if they do nothing
You didn’t fully qualify.
And when you don’t qualify, you chase.
The Alternative to Follow-Up
Instead of follow-up, build mutual next steps.
Instead of:
“I’ll check back in next week.”
Try:
“Let’s schedule that now so neither of us has to chase the other.”
Instead of:
“I’ll send the proposal.”
Try:
“If I send this and you like it, what happens next? And if you don’t, will you tell me?”
Instead of:
“Just checking in.”
Try:
“It sounds like this may not be a priority right now. Should we close the loop?”
That last one? That’s Negative Reverse Selling.
And it often brings the prospect back to life.
Equal Business Stature Eliminates Exhaustion
Sales shouldn’t feel like begging.
When you:
Enforce equal business stature
Diagnose pain thoroughly
Set clear up-front contracts
Qualify investment and decision process
Use Negative Reverse appropriately
Protect your time
You rarely “follow up.”
You simply execute agreed-upon next steps.
A Hard Truth
If you’re doing a lot of follow-up…
You probably didn’t finish the previous conversation correctly.
That’s not criticism.
That’s opportunity.
The Shift
From this:
“Just following up…”
To this:
“We agreed we’d reconnect today to decide whether to move forward or close the file. Where are you?”
One sounds hopeful.
One sounds professional.
Final Thought
If your sales process is built correctly:
You don’t chase patients.
You diagnose.
You qualify.
You prescribe.
Or you disqualify.
If you find yourself stuck in F-U mode, it’s not a messaging problem.
It’s a qualification problem.
Fix the front end — and the follow-up disappears.
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If this resonated and you want to talk more about strengthening your team, improving your sales process, or building a real coaching culture, contact us anytime.
— Scott Bliss, Sandler Jersey Shore - Sales Training • Sales Coaching • Leadership Development • Sales Process Improvement • Sandler Training NJ • AI-Enhanced Selling Strategies
