Transactional Analysis (TA) describes and predicts interactions between two people based on their psychological ego states. TA is central to the Sandler methodology. Sandler alumni know that each person’s ego consists of three distinct childhood scripts.
- The Parent ego state is made up of authoritarian messages from either a Critical Parent or a Nurturing Parent.
- The Child ego state consists of emotional messages from a Natural Child, Rebellious Child, or Adapted Child.
- The Adult ego state is made up of logical and rational messages, and it acts as a neutral arbitrator.
As a salesperson, understand and manage scripts from these ego states during sales discussions to build and maintain rapport. Here are some Sandler Rules to help:
- Thirty percent of your selling behavior comes from your Adult.
- Zero percent of your selling behavior comes from your Critical Parent.
- It is equally important to set aside the Child ego state when conducting business interactions. Avoid allowing this mindset to influence your professional demeanor, regardless of the meeting format.
Let’s look a little more closely at the “scripty behavior” of each of these ego states.
Nurturing Parent
Characteristics of people who have a high Nurturing Parent include:
- Others describe them as caring and helpful.
- They readily offer comfort and support. They gently offer solutions.
- They are genuinely concerned for others and look out for their welfare.
- They help others find better ways rather than simply instructing.
Prospects and colleagues respond favorably to and put trust in people who show genuine concern.
Adult
Characteristics of people who have a high Adult include:
- They gather data to analyze problems and choose solutions.
- They tend to stay calm and objective in tense situations.
- They seek and find logical explanations.
Adult behavior is appropriate and important if used at the correct time. For instance, during a presentation, an Adult explanation of the solution to the problem is appropriate. Giving detailed, accurate answers to questions is also important. However, sometimes, being highly analytical can stifle a prospect’s creativity.
Natural Child
Characteristics of people who have a high Natural Child include:
- They are often described as uninhibited or impulsive.
- They are often spontaneous and enjoy having fun.
While fun and silliness are part of life, they are rarely suitable at work. Joking during a high-pressure meeting is inappropriate and may increase tension.
Little Professor
Characteristics of people who have a high Little Professor include:
- They have a strong intuitive sense.
- They are creative.
- They can usually figure out how to get their way.
- They are often known for being able to talk anyone into anything.
- They are sometimes perceived as manipulative.
Good instincts and intuition are useful, but remember: selling is about the prospect, not us.
Adapted Child
Characteristics of people who have a high Adapted Child include:
- They continually seek approval.
- They avoid confrontation.
- They avoid “rocking the boat”.
- They tend to accept what others say or do at face value.
These are not effective sales communication principles. In sales, we must ask tough questions.
Rebellious Child
Characteristics of people who have a high Rebellious Child include:
- They avoid rules and restrictions and don’t like to be told what to do.
- They hate to be told “no.”
- They are often too emotional to recognize the impact of their actions.
The Rebellious Child ego state is inappropriate for professional business environments.
Ego States: The Big Takeaway
Communicating authentically from a strong Nurturing Parent position, with occasional Adult appeals, creates the ideal rapport template for sales professionals. Contacts at any level will perceive you as warm, caring, and objective; prospects and influencers will see you as trustworthy, logical, and intelligent, bringing value to every discussion.
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