When you lose a big sale, miss quota, or have a slow month, what’s your first instinct?
If you’re like many sales professionals, the temptation is to externalize—to blame the market, your company, or the customer. It might sound like:
“They bought from the competition because of their ad campaign. Marketing needs to step it up.”
“The economy is terrible. Nobody’s buying right now.”
“Our prices are too high and I get no support on discounts. I can’t sell under these conditions.”
Sure, those might feel valid in the moment. But here’s the truth: blaming outside forces won’t put food on your table. And it certainly won’t help you grow.
The Problem with Externalizing in Sales
Every time you blame someone else, you hand over control of your results. You’re essentially saying: “I can’t change this.” That mindset keeps you stuck.
But when you take responsibility, you claim power. You focus on the one thing you can control—your actions. That’s where real change begins.
The Role of Transactional Analysis in Sales Mindset
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a powerful framework for understanding how we interact with ourselves and others. It breaks down our personality into three ego states:
1. Parent Ego State
This is the voice of authority. It holds the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” we learned from parents, teachers, and other authority figures.
2. Child Ego State
This is the emotional self. It records our feelings and reactions. It wants to be liked and avoid blame—and often leads the charge when we start making excuses.
3. Adult Ego State
This is your rational, logical, problem-solving self. Think of it as command central—the part of you that makes objective decisions and takes accountability.
When you externalize blame, you’re letting your Child ego state run the show. It feels safer to point fingers than to own the outcome. But real progress only happens when your Adult ego state takes over.
What Accountability Sounds Like in Sales
Shifting from blame to responsibility doesn’t mean ignoring real challenges—it means facing them with action:
“Marketing leads are light? Time to generate my own. I’ll work my client list, ask for referrals, and book some networking events.”
“The economy’s tight? I’ll adapt my pitch and focus on solving higher-priority pain points.”
“Price objections again? I need to get better at selling the value—cost savings, time saved, and long-term ROI.”
Sales is a tough game. But the best salespeople don’t wait for conditions to change—they change their approach.
Final Thought: Leave the Child in the Car
It’s easy to fall into old habits of blame. But if you want consistent performance, the key is developing your Adult ego state. That means recognizing when excuses pop up, questioning the story you’re telling yourself, and focusing on what you can control.
The best sales reps own their results—good or bad—and that mindset is what keeps them closing.
For more tips on how to become a better sales leader, check out this complimentary resource from Sandler.
