Trust is at the heart of every successful relationship. Whether you're leading a team, working with a client, talking with a prospect, or collaborating with a colleague, trust has a direct impact on how well you work together.
Trust isn't built simply because we have good intentions. With some people, conversation seems effortless. With others, it can feel like you're speaking two different languages. Sometimes the issue isn't what you're communicating. It's how you're communicating it.
One of the most valuable lessons I've learned working with salespeople, managers, and business leaders is that the way you prefer to communicate isn't necessarily the way someone else prefers to be communicated with. We often communicate with others the way we want to be communicated with—and then wonder why the conversation isn't going the way we expected.
That's where DISC can be incredibly useful.
Understanding How Others Communicate
DISC is a behavioral framework that helps us understand how people tend to communicate, make decisions, respond to challenges, and interact with others. The four primary behavioral styles are Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Conscientiousness (C).
A high D tends to be direct, decisive, and results-focused. A high I tends to be outgoing, enthusiastic, and people-focused. A high S is generally patient, supportive, and relationship-focused, while a high C tends to be analytical, thoughtful, and detail-focused.
Most of us are a combination. The real value of DISC isn't simply knowing your own style. It's learning to recognize what other people need from you and having the flexibility to adjust your communication accordingly.
Building Trust with a D
Someone with a high D typically values efficiency, results, and forward movement. They want you to get to the point and tell them what they need to know. Too much background or unnecessary detail may quickly lose their attention.
When communicating with a D, be direct. Focus on outcomes, options, and next steps. Respect their time and give them the opportunity to make decisions. Trust develops when they see you as capable, prepared, and focused on moving things forward.
Building Trust with an I
People with a high I tend to bring energy and enthusiasm to their interactions. They enjoy conversation, connection, and opportunities to share ideas. If you immediately jump into facts, figures, and tasks without creating some personal connection, you may have a difficult time engaging them.
Give an I an opportunity to talk. Ask questions, show enthusiasm, acknowledge their ideas, and allow room for conversation. Don't underestimate the importance of the relationship; taking the time to connect can go a long way toward establishing trust.
Building Trust with an S
Someone with a high S often values consistency, cooperation, and stability. Sudden changes, unnecessary conflict, or pressure to make an immediate decision can create discomfort.
When communicating with an S, slow down. Explain what is happening, give them time to process, and make sure they know what to expect. Listen to their concerns and don't assume that silence means agreement.
Trust develops when they experience you as dependable, sincere, and consistent.
Building Trust with a C
People with a high C generally value accuracy, quality, and logic. They want enough information to understand how something works and why it makes sense.
Telling a C, "Don't worry about the details," probably isn't going to help. Come prepared, answer their questions, and give them time to evaluate their options. Avoid pushing for an immediate answer when additional analysis is reasonable.
Trust grows when they see that you've done your homework and respect their need to make an informed decision.
The Real Secret Isn't Knowing DISC
Understanding DISC is helpful, but simply knowing someone's behavioral style doesn't build trust. What you do with that knowledge does.
It's easy to communicate the way we naturally communicate. It's much harder to recognize when that approach isn't working and have the flexibility to change it. That might mean getting to the point faster, slowing down, providing more details, or allowing more time.
None of those adjustments requires you to change who you are. They require you to pay attention to who you're communicating with.
Stop Asking People to Communicate Like You
We've all heard the Golden Rule: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." It's a good principle, but when it comes to communication, I think there's a better question:
"How does this person want to be communicated with?"
That question requires us to listen, observe, and adapt rather than simply deliver our message the way we've always delivered it.
The D may need you to get to the point. The I needs conversation and connection. The S needs time and reassurance. The C needs information and logic. They're simply different.
Whether you're leading employees, serving clients, or developing new business, stronger relationships begin when people feel heard, understood, and respected.
So when a conversation isn't going the way you expected, don't immediately ask, "What's wrong with them?" Ask yourself:
"What could I change about the way I'm communicating with them?"
That question may change the conversation—and the relationship. Because sometimes the secret to building trust isn't learning how to communicate better. It's learning how to communicate better with them.
