Everyone in sales doubts themselves sometimes. That’s not a women’s issue. That’s a human one.
But women in sales often carry an extra load. Some prospects discount salespeople the minute they walk in. Some discount women. Plenty of women in sales get both.
That’s not a confidence problem. It’s a pattern, and it’s not your fault. The risk is what it does over time. Get underestimated often enough and it gets easy to start absorbing it.
That’s when self-doubt starts making decisions. You soften the price before anyone pushes back. You skip the tough question. You don’t ask for the meeting with the decision-maker. You pass on the bigger opportunity because you’re not sure you’re ready.
None of that shows up as a lost deal. It shows up as deals you never went after.
You perform the way you see yourself
Here’s the rule I come back to: you perform in a manner consistent with your self-concept. What you believe drives what you do. What you do drives your results.
Picture two saleswomen in the same bad market. One decides nobody’s buying, so why bother calling? She makes fewer calls, misses her number, and tells herself she knew it all along. The other decides companies that cut staff need their remaining people better trained. She makes more calls than anyone on the team and has her best year.
Same market. Different belief. Different result.
Self-doubt isn’t the problem. What you do with it is.
Questioning yourself is normal. A little doubt keeps you prepared. The problem starts when it makes your decisions for you. Here’s what top performers, men and women, do to keep it in its place:
Measure against your own standard. When you catch yourself wishing you were as good as someone else, ask: “What are my values, and does this support them?” Your opinion of your work is the one that counts.
Write the doubt down. What exactly are you unsure about? Then write what you’d need to know or practice to get past it. Doubt gets smaller when it has a plan attached.
Drop the word “luck.” Replace it with “my actions led to these results.”
Own your wins. “It was nothing” becomes “Thanks, I’m proud of what we accomplished.”
Have a line ready for rejection. “Some will, some won’t. So what? Somebody else will.”
A simple test before you take the risk
The fastest way to build confidence is to take risks, one at a time. Make a list of things you’d do if you felt more confident: the bigger ask, the C-suite call, the promotion. Pick one. Then answer three questions:
Will this kill me?
What will I give up by taking this risk?
What will I gain if I take it?
If the reward outweighs the risk, and it almost always does, set a plan and a timeline. Tell someone and ask them to hold you to it. When it’s done, add it to your list of wins and pick the next one.
If it doesn’t go the way you wanted, ask one question: what did I learn?
Watch who you’re listening to
Being underestimated gets harder when the people around you aren’t in your corner. You can’t control what others say. You can control who you spend time with and whose opinion you take to heart.
Find the people who want you to win. Meet with them regularly. Tell them what you’re working on, what worries you, and where you need help. That can be a mentor, a peer group, or a coach whose job it is to help you get better.
Why we started the Women in Business Scholarship
I was fortunate to grow up with women in my family who were strong business leaders.
Women are still underrepresented in sales leadership. Nobody gets to the top alone, and access to training and coaching shouldn’t be the thing that decides who does. This scholarship is our way of giving back.
The recipient gets a full year in the Sandler Sales Development program: nearly 100 hours of live training, personalized coaching, and access to hundreds of hours of audio and video training. Total value: over $15,000.
It’s open to business owners involved in sales, entrepreneurs, women new to sales or sales management, and seasoned sales professionals and leaders. Applications close Friday, December 4, 2026.
If you lead a sales team: make sure the underestimating isn’t happening inside your own building. Look at who gets the big accounts, the stretch assignments, and the coaching time. And if you know a woman who should apply, send her this.
And if you’re the one holding back, what’s the one risk you’ve been putting off?
Ideas and examples adapted from The Unapologetic Saleswoman by Lorraine Ferguson (Sandler).
