There are many salespeople who are extremely good at what they do. They have the ability to be personable and develop excellent relationships, have a great product, work for a highly supportive company and have an excellent selling system. Yet they still struggle.
The “role” of a salesperson is what I’ve just described. However, there is another key element that most training never addresses to any effective degree. Ironically, it is the key reason so many sales people struggle and fail in the high-rejection world of selling.
It’s the “I” factor. The “I” factor – our “identity,” or how we feel about ourselves – is equally, if not more, an important factor in determining our success or failure than our “R” – or “Role.” We are all two people – “I” and “R” – each dealing with (or not) the constant rejection of selling.
Learning to deal with the role of sales is the “R” factor of our life. When you allow how you perform in your role to affect how you feel about yourself, the outcome in the high-rejection world of selling may become, at best, a roller coaster of emotions. I am always concerned about how a salesperson feels when they leave a prospect’s office. Are they ready to go on to the next call or are they feeling “not OK” – questioning their product, their company, the economy or, more importantly, themselves?
The fear of rejection and the need for total, unequivocal acceptance and success every time out comes from self-rejection. If we expect to be liked by every prospect our objective may need some adjustment.
What we should be striving for is respect from potential clients and that takes more effort and skill. It also takes more professionalism. Acceptance of self and getting over the fear of rejection puts our well-being into our own hands. Society brainwashes us into feeling that we must succeed and we must be accepted every time we undertake any activity. If we fail, we are disgraced. This results in terribly hurt pride, embarrassment, negative self-talk and depression when we are rejected.
Fear of rejection is the opposite of self-confidence and success. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy and a prescription for failure. There is no easy way to liberate ourselves from this bind. We simply must take chances and come to realize that, while our pride may be hurt, our real selves remain unscathed.
At all times we must protect our “I” – our identity. If we don’t, it’s much tougher to move on to the next prospect and do a good job. The potential mental scars of rejection can obstruct our future success. It would be like a boxer having reluctance to go back in the ring after suffering a recent defeat.
We must realize that the rejection by a prospect is first about our “R,” or role. The prospect didn’t reject us as a person. Our “I,” or identity, should always remain at a 10 out of 10. You are always a 10! Without this strong mental and emotional protection, we are vulnerable to both business rejection and more likely our own head trash, which is even more defeating.
The second key to handling rejection is knowing that it isn’t forever. Sometimes the timing isn’t right and therefore you can always return if the prospect believes there may be a future possibility of doing business.
Of course, the other possibility is they will never do business with you. When would you like to know that? After you’ve made half a dozen calls, made a presentation, developed a proposal and sweated the outcome? Or would you prefer to know from the beginning? If you’ve diligently qualified the prospect and it simply is not going to happen, move on and find someone who is more likely to say yes.
Allowing yourself to be rejected – actually permitting rejection – is liberating beyond belief. We then become able to knock on any door, to try many things, to ask, to explore, to be enterprising in all areas of life. We are free to tap any and all of our inner resources.
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