There is a moment in every tough sales conversation when your instincts betray you.
A buyer makes a sharp comment, questions your credibility, or challenges your company, and the first impulse is to fire back.
That impulse feels justified, it feels human, it feels protective.
But it almost never feels productive.
Great sales professionals know something most sellers never learn:
When you feel under attack, fall back.
Not retreat. Not surrender.
Fall back so you can take control of the conversation.
Let’s break down why this counterintuitive move separates average reps from elite ones.
The Instinct to Defend Feels Right, but It Only Fuels the Fire
When someone challenges us, our brain flips a switch.
We think: Correct the misunderstanding, justify the mistake, defend the truth.
But in sales, defending rarely defuses. It escalates.
Once you volley back, the buyer volleys again.
You defend, they defend, and suddenly the conversation becomes a tug of war no one wins.
You did not gain trust.
You did not gain clarity.
You did not gain a next step.
All you gained was friction.
The Countermove: Take Ownership of Something, Anything
Here is what elite sellers do instead.
They stop the instinct to correct or justify and pivot to something they can own.
Imagine a buyer says:
“Your customer service is terrible. I was on hold for 40 minutes. Ridiculous.”
Your instinct might be to explain, defend, or present awards.
But the professional response sounds like:
“I hear you. I am sorry that happened. I am going to bring this to our team so we can look into why it occurred. In the meantime, here is my direct number so you never have that experience again.”
You did not argue.
You did not justify.
You took ownership, even if the issue was outside your control.
And something remarkable happens.
The attack stops.
The buyer relaxes.
The tension drains from the room.
When you remove the target, there is nothing left to aim at.
Falling Back is Not Weakness, It is Strategic Control
Falling back does not mean surrendering the sale.
It means you refuse to be dragged into emotional quicksand.
Buyers are allowed to lose patience.
They are allowed to vent.
They are allowed to be imperfect.
But the sales professional has one job:
Model the grown up behavior, keep ego out of it, and guide the conversation back to progress.
Great sellers accommodate the buyer's communication style, even when the buyer is temporarily off their game.
That is leadership.
And leadership builds trust faster than any rebuttal ever could.
The Move That Changes the Entire Tone of the Conversation
Do this consistently and you become the calmest person in the room.
Buyers notice.
Buyers trust it.
Buyers follow it.
Falling back is not passive.
It is powerful.
When you own the moment, you own the direction of the dialogue.
Ready to Strengthen Your Team's Communication Skills?
If your team struggles with defensiveness, stalled conversations, or difficult buyers, it is time to level up their skills with Sandler by Phoenix Coaching Works.
We help sales teams master the communication habits that build trust, shorten cycles, and deepen credibility.
Want your sellers to handle tough conversations with calm confidence?
Reach out today to schedule a strategy call.
