Somebody asked me recently, What is your favorite Sandler concept?
It surprised me how quickly the answer surfaced. It is not Prospecting. It is not PAIN. It is not the Up Front Contract.
The Sandler concept that changed my life the most was Transactional Analysis.
At first glance, it can seem like a psychology lesson tucked inside a sales methodology. You have the Parent, Adult and Child ego states. You have patterns, reactions and emotional triggers. But when you understand this framework and learn to master your own ego states, something remarkable happens. You gain control over how you communicate, how you respond under pressure and how you influence outcomes.
That is the moment everything shifts.
The Ego State That Held Me Back
For me, the big realization was simple, but not easy.
My natural default was the Critical Parent. It showed up everywhere. Conversations with my husband. Moments with my kids. Coaching sessions with clients. Even internal dialogue about my own performance.
Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.
And once I learned to quiet it, rewire it and choose a different state on purpose, my entire life changed.
When I shifted into Nurturing Parent and Adult, communication became smoother. Conflict softened. Coaching became more effective. Business development conversations felt easier and more natural. Clients felt heard, not corrected. Prospects opened up more quickly. I felt more present, more intentional and more in control.
Transactional Analysis is not theoretical. It is practical. It is transformational.
And for many people, it is the key they did not realize they were missing.
The Sandler Rule That Snaps It Into Focus
There is a rule in David Sandler’s classic list of rules that ties all this together:
Sales is a Broadway play put on by a psychiatrist.
Like many people, I misunderstood this at first. I thought it meant fake your way through a conversation or put on a show. That never felt authentic to me.
But that is not what the rule means at all.
Sandler is not telling you to act like someone you are not. He is telling you to stop letting your ego hijack the moment. When the Critical Parent, Rebellious Child, or Adaptive Child gets triggered, you lose your ability to listen, ask questions and guide the conversation professionally.
Sometimes success requires a little performance, not because you are faking, but because you are choosing not to indulge the emotional reaction your ego wants. You hold your Adult and Nurturing Parent states steady because they serve the relationship. They serve the truth. They serve the outcome.
That is real mastery.
Why This Matters Far Beyond Sales
Transactional Analysis is not just for selling. It shows up everywhere, including:
Hard conversations with a spouse.
Coaching an underperforming employee.
Managing up to a demanding executive.
Navigating conflict with a client.
Keeping control of an emotional sales call.
Any communication that has the potential to go sideways is really a conversation between ego states. When you know how to stay in your strongest self, you stop reacting and start responding.
That is why so many people who have taken Sandler over the years, even long before working with me, say the same thing.
“Sandler changed my life.”
Transactional Analysis is one of the reasons why.
Ready to Strengthen Every Conversation You Have in 2026?
If you want stronger communication, more influence, better relationships and a smoother sales process, mastery of your ego states is the place to start.
Sandler by Sales Sellutions360 teaches leaders, sales professionals and business owners how to communicate with clarity, confidence and emotional control so they can create stronger outcomes in every conversation.
If you want 2026 to be the year you accelerate your sales results and improve the quality of every relationship in your professional life, we are here to help.
Let’s build the communication skills that change lives and revenue outcomes.
Reach out to Sandler by Sales Sellutions360 to get started.
