The need to gain approval from your prospects and clients may be stalling your business growth.
We all have the need for approval. We all have needs and wants. The problem is when these needs and wants negatively affect our ability to speak and act in the proper manner. Every single one of us has the need for approval on some level. So, the question is not "Do I have it?" but "How badly do I have it— and with whom?" It is important to find the answer to this question because the need for approval hinders all of us from doing the things that we should to be successful.
To oversimplify it, the need for approval means we value what others think of us more than what we think of ourselves. It has numerous negative "ripples" in our practices. It affects how well we are able to network, prospect and close a sale. It hampers our ability to ask prospects and clients the tough questions, to probe into their financial situations, to uncover their intentions about continuing to work with us—or not. The need for approval occurs when our head knows what we should do or how we should act, but our gut won’t follow through on it.
NO MORE THINK-IT-OVERS
Studies show that 86 percent of "I’ll think it overs" are actually nos. Not only do agents have the need for approval, prospects do, too. They know the answer is no, but it is safer, nicer and easier to tell you, "Let me think about it," "I have to talk to my partner (accountant, wife)" and so on. It is less confrontational. Ask yourself, would you rather have a think-it-over or the truth?
Turn it around
Let’s spend some time learning how to eliminate the need for approval:
Recognize that you have it. You may not have the need for approval with lower end prospects, but you most likely have it with higher-end prospects, certain alliances or with people whose business you don’t want to lose. So, recognize the fact that you have the need for approval.
Have a desire to fix it. You must understand that the need for approval is costing you an enormous amount of time and money. Once you understand the impact and cost associated with this limiting behavior, it becomes easier to commit to fixing it.
Change approval to respect. You need to change your internal script from "I need my prospects (alliances, clients) to like me" to "I need my prospects (alliances, clients) to respect me." High-net-worth executives and business owners need to respect you in order to buy from you. They are not interested in having a wimp as their financial advisor. They are not wimps; they don’t like wimps.
HIGH-NET-WORTH EXECUTIVES AND BUSINESS OWNERS NEED TO RESPECT YOU IN ORDER TO BUY FROM YOU.
Focus on doing one more thing. Break out of your comfort zone. When you are with a client or prospect, ask just one more question than you’re comfortable with. This takes an enormous amount of courage, because the battle happens internally. No one is aware of the pain and pressure you are going through by asking just one more question.
Remember, fixing the need for approval happens one step at a time. If you find that you failed to ask just one more question, after the meeting, ask yourself, "What is another question I could have asked?" and "What would have been the outcome if I had asked it?"
Go for the truth. During an interview, be sure to go for the truth instead of the sale. If selling a product is the focus, you may not ask certain questions that could jeopardize the possibility of the sale. If truth is the focus, you have to ask questions that may be tough. That means asking prospects and clients questions about how much money they make, how much they are willing and able to spend, if they are truly interested in addressing the issue, if they are willing to fire their current agent and even if they are willing to continue working with you.
WHEN YOU ARE WITH A CLIENT OR PROSPECT, ASK JUST ONE MORE QUESTION THAN YOU’RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
Heavy-hitters understand that asking these questions is the key to high levels of production.
Get approval from someone else. Focus on getting approval from others— outside the circle of your prospects and clients. Get approval from your manager, your general agent, your spouse, your family. Get the approval you need before you get to work; otherwise, you’ll continue to look to your clients for it, and jeopardize your ability to uncover the truth.
Be OK with being uncomfortable. Most of us see being uncomfortable as a negative. Fighting your need for approval means that you have to train yourself to be uncomfortable. Remember, growth comes from taking risks, and taking risks often creates uncomfortable situations. Learn to be OK with that.
Written by Glenn Mattson, President of Sandler Training, Mattson Enterprise, Inc., a sales and leadership consulting firm. Glenn specializes in helping agency leaders and top-performing agents successfully overcome the roadblocks that hinder their ability to achieve significant increases in their results. For more information, go to go.sandler.com/mattson/ or call 631-SANDLER
