Fear, Emotions and Selling

Glenn Mattson
The content of this recording is copyrighted by Sandler Systems LLC. All rights reserved.

Transcript 

Glenn Mattson
Welcome to season four, we're going to be doing episode 10. Today we're going to be taking a look at what happens when the size of the deal or the size of your commission check gets to be so large that it starts to change how you actually interact and sell. Come join us on this adventure as we talk about how fear impacts our ability to properly sell when the deal is bigger than we're comfortable with. Come join us on Building Blocks of Success, Season Four, Episode 10. Come with us and join us.

Glenn Mattson
Welcome back to Building Blocks of Success. In this episode, we're going to be taking a look at how emotions impact our ability to qualify and to present. Come take us on this journey as we start to talk about how emotions more times are not negative, what type of impact they have on our ability to qualify and close, and what you can do to deal with it. So, come join us on this session of Building Blocks of Success, Season Four, Episode 10.

Glenn Mattson
Well, welcome back everybody, Today's session on Building blocks of success is really going to be dealing with something that I have heard four times this week, and I want to bring it up to everyone. What that is, is really dealing with your emotions, when it has to come to qualifying and or presenting. Now, I'm not necessarily talking about prospecting right now, although that's part of it also. But for today, it's really around the qualifications and the presentation. So, let's take a look at what I mean by emotions impacting it, right? Listen, everyone's going to say that emotions are part of sales. I get that, but let's take a look at how emotions, when they're not controlled, have a pretty bad impact on us. Let's see if you can assimilate towards or listen to and say, yep, that's me. Then hopefully at the end, I can give you a few things that can help you address it.

Glenn Mattson
So regardless of if you're talking to an individual, maybe you're selling directly to a consumer, right, so I'm selling to individuals, I'm selling to families, I'm selling in living rooms, selling in a store, right? You could be selling to small businesses where your client base or individuals where you're going to go sell something to a person who has 5, 6, 10 people on board, maybe what you're doing is selling it to large corporations, where your ticket items are the fact that they're very large, you have a territory, you may even have a set number of clients and or individuals you can sell into, regardless of what world you're looking into. One of the things that the reality is, is that with those types of markets, you're going to be either selling to an individual where you're going to be qualifying one person, maybe two, and you're going to be presenting to one or two people. At the end of that, you're expecting to get a yes or no, now you may have it where you're going to be presenting to a group of three or four or five people, some may be part of the company, some may be affiliated with a company like that, you may be presenting to individuals that, for instance, that may be consultants, with that company or outside alliances that are part of the decision making. Regardless, you still have to get in front of a group of people.

Glenn Mattson
Now, the other group is those that have to get in front of large committees. So, you have more of a bake-off, right, you have three or four different demos that you have to do throughout the sales process. So, I don't care which group you are part of or which group you sell into, because they are all happening. The story I'm going to talk about, and the examples I'm going to share with you are across the board. That's why I wanted to talk about it today. Now, let's talk about what causes it to happen. More times than not, what this is, is called emotional involvement. We'll bring that back in a second. Let's take a look at what causes people to get emotional, what causes them to all of a sudden change inside their head and heart who they are, and honestly what got them to where they are just because of the environment. So, let's talk about what causes it to happen.

Glenn Mattson
The first thing you may want to take a look at is what is typical across the board. One of the easiest indicators is the size of the deal. So, the size of the deal could be tonnage, right? You're typically selling something that's a million dollars, and this one is two and a half million. Maybe you're taking a look at a project that on average, for you, is three to five months, and this one is a two-year project. So, the size of the deal is typically one of the most common ones that we have. In addition to that maybe it's going to be or not just in addition to who can be instead of also but not only the size of the deal, but what about who you're talking to how come some of us are awesome at talking to middle managers yet all of a sudden you go to the C suite and we have marbles in our mouth and we're really super nervous because the title, the tenure or the seniority of an individual.

Glenn Mattson
What happens if you're really good one-on-one and all of a sudden, now it's three-on-one or five-on-one? Or maybe you're really good with one product and now your company is, you know, introducing a different product and you have a legacy product, you have a new product, and you're really comfortable with one, and now you're outside your zone because it's a different product. The bottom line is this; Honestly what creates this is when you're really outside your comfort zone when you're really outside your skis. Emotional involvement is basically when you're inside a sales process, or inside of a meeting, or inside an episode, and something during that episode causes you to panic. That panic means that it's, so typically someone will say something, someone will do something, you can even have someone just lean back in their chair and fold their arms and in your mind, like oh my gosh, they're not interested is what your mind goes off really fast, right?

Glenn Mattson
So emotional involvement really is the gap of really what happens between knowing and owning. What occurs is somebody either says something or does something. When they say something, or do something, and this is just a simple four-step process, they say or do something when they say or do something, that impacts you, because you do not have a conviction on how to handle it. Since you don't have a conviction on how to handle it, which is the second step, then you go to the third step. The third step is panic.

Glenn Mattson
Panic is when you, in the blink of an eye, start to get nervous. The reason that you're nervous is again, you don't have conviction on what to say. That means you go to your fourth step; the fourth step is self-talk. So, when you're getting emotionally involved, a lot of times we do a lot of self-talk. When we do self-talk, more times than not, nothing ever really good comes from self-talk, right? The bottom line is a prospect will always tell you what you need to know to close them if they're closeable. But how are you going to figure all that out, if you're not paying attention to them, because you're talking to yourself in your head? We also know that during a meeting, 70% of your time should be spent on listening. If you're listening to yourself, you're not listening to them. Remember, they'll tell you everything you need to know to see if they're closeable, and how to close them - if you're paying attention. That's why being the second chair is so powerful. That's why when we do a lot of role playing if the roleplay is not for the person in the roleplay, the role plays, we're actually for the people listening to the roleplay. Because you want to observe how much stuff is being missed by the person doing the roleplay. Because they're in the heat of the battle, ie you're getting emotion involved.

Glenn Mattson
So, if you have to think about what you're doing, you're already past and over your skis. So, a lot of times what happens with emotional involvement is there's a big gap between I know what to do, and I own what to do. The ownership is really where we have buy-in, right? The knowing part is that's why sometimes we leave meetings, and we turn around and say I should have said this. I could have said this, why didn't I say that? And we know what we should have done after the heat of the battle. So, you got to remember the rules, right? The rule when it comes to sales outcomes is; that there are only two rules. One rule is that we have to ask ourselves, did you say, and did you do what you were supposed to? Right? So, all problems in sales really occur for one of two reasons, don't overcomplicate it, they occur because either you did or said something you are not supposed to. You did or said something you were not supposed to. The other is, you didn't do, or you didn't say something you were supposed to. So, let's not overcomplicate it all.

Glenn Mattson
So, let's take a look at what may cause you not to ask or what may cause you to say something you shouldn't. So we talk about these big deals. It's filled with anxiety. It's filled with a self-fulfilling prophecy, which is honestly if you really look at half the stuff we're worried about, we're worried about something that is in the future, we're worried about something that hasn't even happened yet. When we worry about something in the future, we don't take action, and then all of a sudden, typically what we're worried about becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We didn't do anything to change it. So, the other big thing that happens in these scenarios is that we want them to like us, and or I'm very comfortable at a x dollar, right? Maybe you're really comfortable at a $500 commission, maybe it's a $2,000 commission and this one's 6000, right? All of a sudden it changes the game which changes your mindset.

Glenn Mattson
Now, what happens? Well, let me share with you what are some of the things that my clients were calling in on and why I'm doing this quick podcast. One is, is that historically, there are about four things that happen. One, you talk too much, two, you become very unnatural and what that means is honestly, you stopped doing what you did to get you where you are, why are you stopping what you did that got you successfully to where you are? Right, but you're not natural?

Glenn Mattson
The second one is you got to really look at it and ask yourself, are you over-educating? Are you dumping your candy in the lobby? Are you throwing everything in the kitchen sink at them? A lot of times education leads into the fourth area, which is that details are getting into the weeds. You've got to remember, most of the people you're talking to, again, depending on if it's tenure, or the size of the deal, which is what got you nervous, though, the closer you get to the finish line, the more important the individuals are in the decision-making committee. So, when you're inside that area, you're going to understand that you have to get into the weeds if they want you to get in the weeds. But you also have to understand if you're doing large businesses or small businesses with a committee, many of those committee people, not all again, depending on the size, their big picture people.

Glenn Mattson
So, when you over-educate, or you get into the fourth area, which is the weeds in the details, what you're actually doing is the opposite of what you're trying to create. That's why a lot of people get thinking-overs or confusion. There's just way too far in the weeds. Now, let me share with you a few things that occurred during this week. One is I have an individual that has a large case, the individual was happy that they actually qualified to get the protection. Yet, when they were having the conversation, this individual called me up and said, hey, and I always find this funny, when I get phone calls about these situations, which they want to coach through. It usually starts with, which I always find funny because it's pretty consistent. It usually starts with some of these, one, Hey, Glenn, this is really important to me. Number two is, it's a big deal . Three, I don't want to lose this . Right? I always find that funny when they say, Glenn, I don't want to lose it, and I'm like, when the hell did you ever have it and you're afraid of losing something you don't even have yet, right?

Glenn Mattson
So, I don't want to lose it. It's a big deal. It's important to me, it's a lot of money. Or they start by telling me who is going to be in the room based on again, tenure. So, Glenn, let me tell you what's going to happen. I have four people in the room, I've got the CIO, I've got the CFO, I've got the CEO, and a manager, that's a really big deal. It's super important to me, and I don't want to lose this one, because it's important to my quota. That's how they start. Now, or I can have someone else which was this morning, Glen, this is going to put me over the edge, this is going to get me into that qualification. I've been busting my butt for 12 months to get to this is a huge deal. It's five times larger than anything I've ever done in my life. That guy wants it. It's great. But it's huge and nervous. He starts going all into it. Now. How many of us listen in, it's really important to think about when we're sitting in front of and having conversations with people. Are we letting our emotions are we letting what we feel have an impact on what we're doing? Remember, you sometimes just have to do what you have to do regardless of how you feel.

Glenn Mattson
What I was trying to share with one of my clients this morning was that he was creating, because he was nervous, he was going to over-educate the client. All the client wanted to know today was, did I get the solution? Which, in this case, was insurance. Did I get the solution, or did I qualify for it? How much money should I put into it? These are the only three things they wanted to know. This salesperson, because the size was significantly bigger than anything he's ever done before. Remember, I told you about three levels that he was thinking about putting in and that the lowest level was about six times greater than his largest case up to that point.

Glenn Mattson
So, it was big for him. He wanted to go over the micro details of everything in the situation. I just kept asking him what he was expecting during the presentation today. What was he looking for when you guys decided that and agreed that it was going to be a yes or no at the end? What does yes mean to him and what was he trying to solve? This individual is going to go into the weeds into micro details because they were nervous about the size of the deal. All they wanted to know was three simple questions.

Glenn Mattson
I have another individual, who's been working, he's got seven hospitals that he's allowed to in his territory, and he's got legacy and new that he can sell into. He's gotten in front of us and does a great job as individuals of really, really high quality, does a really good job qualifying. It's not frequent for him, but it does happen. This is why I want to bring it up. In this situation, he's sitting down, and there are five people in the room. One of them is a new CFO, new to the company. We all know new people want to make a footprint when they first get there. So, historically, that means I'm going to beat up on anybody selling us stuff and see if we can get some discounts. That way I can put my footprint automatically on stuff.

Glenn Mattson
So, when we were having a conversation, it was more about what's going to happen when you ask these questions and more times than not, the questions are about rebates or reductions, etc. I was nervous, because how was I going to handle this, we've already been through this, we already got the number to where it is, and this had all been done before this person got hired. So, as we're talking again, Glenn, it's a big deal. It's super important to me, I need one of the three that I have on the hopper right now to close so I can get my numbers blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, I ask this individual, what's the purpose of the meeting? What are they expected to say yes to? What are they expecting to have solved during your meeting? Right? So, I asked him just basic questions about pain, money, and decisions. So, then I asked, What's the purpose of today? He walked me through it. Okay, so what's your nervousness? What happens if he asks for a rebate? So you've been through this a fair amount? So what would you say? This is where it popped out. He turned around, and says, this is a really large deal and I don't want to screw it up.

Glenn Mattson
So, team, this is the epicenter of why I'm doing this right now. His problem was not a technique problem. His problem is attitudinal. He knew what to do. He was afraid because he was afraid, he was going to change what he was doing. By changing what he was going to do, unfortunately, if he stayed the course he was originally going to have, he was going to create the outcome of what he was trying to avoid. So, I asked him, Hey, man, and let me get into it - now, how we fix it. One of the questions I asked was this. If I took a zero off the deal. So instead of being 17,000,001, it s 1.7 million, same scenario, boardroom legacy, new product, converting from the old product, you've been through everything with everybody, we're on the edge of the diving board, and a new CFO comes in and asks the question, how would you handle it? By me taking a zero off the commission to zero off the deal. I took money off the deal the size of it, which was one of the reasons that we get emotion involved. So when I said, Hey, you should all do the same thing, take a zero off the deal and ask yourself, what would I say? How would I handle this situation? What would I do? Almost always when I've asked that question, I've gotten back, why would do this, this, and this? I would say this, this, and this? I don't understand what's the difference. What's the big deal? I don't want to lose it. Is it understood? If you didn't care, right, you've got to remember Sandler's rules.

Glenn Mattson
I'm financially independent. I don't need the business. If you were financially independent. I asked him the same question. If you had whatever you consider a lot of money, maybe it's 50 million, maybe it's 500 million, I could care less, but if you had 100 million in the bank, and you were doing this just for fun, because you were bored during the day, and an individual asked you the question, and you weren't stressed out about winning the deal, you were more stressed out about just being honest and using your techniques and strategies the way you're supposed to be using them. Big difference? You know why we bring people in a joint work; we bring people in a joint work because they don't get emotion involved during the big case. That's why we bring them in.

Glenn Mattson
When people I've talked to have brought in a quote-unquote expert or people that give a piece of the action, and I don't have anything to do with joint work. I've nothing wrong with joint work, but you have to do it for the right reasons. If you're bringing someone in because you're afraid of losing it and your mind as well, giving up half or giving up a percentage is better than nothing. Well, how are you going to learn by observing, and a lot of times what you do learn, which I hear all the time is they did nothing different than what I would have done. I'm trying to sit there and say, You know what to do. If it was a lack of skill, that's something completely different. That's not what I'm talking about today. It's not skill, it's attitude, the attitude, and the fear. Anxiety impacts your ability to act normally and do what you're supposed to do. Remember, one technique is to take a zero way.

Glenn Mattson
The second one is you have to remember that the amount of money you make, and the impact you have on your clients is more determined about the information you get when you give. So, we have to make sure that we're in the position of gathering data, taking a zero away is a big one. Understanding Sandler's rule have always be in a position of wanting business, never be in a position of needing business. You can't be afraid of losing something if you don't have it. You can't be afraid of losing something if you don't have it, it's not the end of the world for you. So, you have to make sure that you don't put all your eggs in one basket. Now the thing you've got to remember in the back of your head is you cannot lose something you don't have. Now, here's one rule that I did. This is a rule that I've used since the beginning of my career where when I would have a situation like this more times than not during the meeting, I know it's happening. I know I'm over my skis. I know I'm getting nervous, and right when it ends, you start saying I should have said this, why didn't I say this, I could have done that. For me, I felt a double negative. The negative was that I didn't do what I was supposed to.

Glenn Mattson
The other negative was honestly I knew I should have done something different. I just didn't do it. So it's not like I walk out of there saying I haven't completely clueless on what I should have done. After you have your anxiety and your emotions kind of dissipate after a call and you take that deep breath, isn't it amazing how a lot of what we should have done or not done pops into our head instantaneously, right? Monday morning quarterback. If you're not getting any Monday morning quarterback, then it may be a technique problem. But if you aren't getting Monday morning quarterback, what happens is when you get emotions involved, your brain literally shuts off your panic. When it shuts off, all the tactics and strategies have gone. That's why after the heat of the battle, you take a deep breath, it's almost like you're the anxiety in your body just literally goes right out through your toes, right, it goes from your head down to your shoulders down to your heart, right up to your toes, like leaks right out. And when it does that, all of a sudden, all the stuff we should have done or should not have done pops into our head. That's when we do this should have COULDA, WOULDA.

Glenn Mattson
So, as we're going through this stuff, remember, you can't lose something you don't have. Now, here comes a crazy part. What makes us comfortable in those scenarios, one thing is experience. But how do we gain experience? If we're not in that field? How do we gain experience when we screw it up? That's when we got to be stoic and be really good. At debriefing ourselves. One of the things I'd share with you is when at least in my world, when I didn't do it, I was aware of the fact that I didn't do it. I was aware of the fact that this is what I should have said or this would have been better, etc. So I still remember exactly who I was talking to exactly the scenario, sitting down with someone who ran a very, very successful broker-dealer. But 20 some-odd years ago, as we are having a conversation because I worked with the top three individuals inside that BD and we transformed all three businesses where they literally grew and doubled within 18 months on average. So the individual wanted to chat with me. So, when I'm sitting down, and to make a long story short, I'm in my 30s. I'm really young, probably 31, 30 maybe. He s doing his expenses as he's talking to me. Looking through his receipts, writing them down on a piece of paper, organizing them saying, aha, up, and in my head, I'm like, this is ridiculous. I can remember saying to myself if you're going to lose, lose, right? If this is going to go nowhere, have it go nowhere, because I did the right stuff.

Glenn Mattson
What I hated happening was things not going someplace because I didn't do what was right. So it's a double negative. So I was done with double negatives. I can look at myself in the mirror and say, Hey, I did everything I knew how to do which didn't work out. Versus you look yourself in the mirror and say What's wrong with you? You wimped out what happened? Okay. So, in my mind, this is an important one. If you're going to lose whatever the hell that term means for you. Lose, right? Losing means doing the right things and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. But man, don't, quote-unquote, lose because you didn't do something you're supposed to. Or worse yet you did something you shouldn't have done. So as we look forward, you take the ability to understand how emotion by the way 30% of your business is lost, because of emotional involvement. When you start to have conversations, and you start to feel that you're doing something different than what you've done in the past, you're starting to ask different questions. You're allowing you to send out information that you maybe didn't do in the past. When you find yourself doing other things, and more importantly, you're feeling different. Then all of a sudden, because of that, you change your tactics or your strategy, not for the better. That's what I'm talking about today. So I hope that this gave you some insights on why it happens, and more importantly, how to address it. So those items I gave you are things that work in the real world and we utilize them all the time and I wanted to share them with you right when it was happening. So best of luck. Keep moving forward as you do your building blocks of success.

Glenn Mattson
This is the Building Blocks of Success with Glenn Mattson.