As a student of selling excellence, I often think about what distinguishes average performers from the truly great ones. Some things seem obvious. Have a plan, work hard, ask questions, and know your products. Those are good.
But there is another attribute that often lurks in the background and strongly influences the obvious.
Emotional regulation.
Being able to regulate your emotions may be the keystone habit of great salespeople. When emotions take over, things go sideways quickly.
Here’s what it looks like:
- Happy Ears – being so overly optimistic that you hear only what you hope to be true. A polite “We’ll think about it” becomes “We got this one!”
- Desperation – you’ve tied your self-worth to the sale, so you’re discounting, over-promising, and chasing instead of qualifying. Your prospect senses it immediately.
- Fear – you are so afraid of hearing the word “no” that you avoid asking tough questions.
- Overconfidence – one good call and you’re riding so high that you fail to prepare for the next one. You start to “wing it.”
Emotions are the silent killer of successful selling.
We aren’t robots. We have emotions, and we can’t just hit the “off” button. The secret is to channel those emotions in the right direction.
If you are going to get emotional, get emotional about your process.
Do get emotional about:
- Following your sales process with discipline.
- Showing up prepared for each and every selling encounter.
- Challenging yourself to ask the necessary questions and not being afraid of the word no.
- Doing your behaviors consistently.
Because here’s the truth: you don’t control outcomes. Your prospect has the agency to say yes or no. Just like a coach who can’t control what his players do on the field, a salesperson can’t force a prospect to buy.
What you can control is your consistency. And when your emotions are tied to the things you can control, you’ll find the wins take care of themselves.
Robin Green
Robin Green is the President and Owner of Ascend Performance, Inc., a certified and award-winning Sandler Training Center in Richmond, VA. He specializes in helping companies of all sizes develop the Attitudes, Behaviors, and Techniques that will help them reach new levels. Robin is a keynote speaker and podcast host. You can reach him at robin.green@sandler.com. He helps companies and motivated individuals with sales, management, and customer service training.
