If you've ever been in a leadership or business development role, you know the value of a great referral. In fact, you have probably asked for referrals often and appreciate receiving them.
But how does a referral feel for the person receiving it?
What I want instead
Much of what we do in our firm is simply helping people reframe how they think about things and how they can make every interaction more effective by making it about the other person. This is why I focus on the introduction instead of the referral.
While well-intentioned, referrals can often create an uncomfortable situation for both parties. There is implicit pressure and expectation associated with referrals, which can make the interaction feel transactional and insincere.
Why this is important
The introduction makes the interaction comfortable. A referral is only "successful" if we do business together. An introduction is successful when you meet and form a connection!
Reframing the winning conditions can change how the interaction plays out. It feels counterintuitive, but when you focus on making each piece more effective over prioritizing perceived "efficiency," you'll see better results.
How to do it well
To ensure that every introduction is as personal as possible, I emphasize the following:
Face-to-Face Interactions
Whenever possible, I prefer in-person, face-to-face handshakes. If you find yourself in the same room with someone, take the opportunity to ask for an introduction. This personal touch can make a significant impact.
Recently, I was at a speaking engagement, and a lady came over and told me how I just had to meet her colleague. She said she would send an email introduction after the fact, but you and I both know how hard it is to get noticed in the inbox black hole.
I paused and asked her if her colleague was in the room, and she replied, "Yes." I asked if it would be more comfortable for her to introduce us face to face, and she lit up. She told me she hadn't even considered this, and yes, it would be much more comfortable!
Effective Communication Methods
After she introduced me to her colleague, I wanted to ensure it was easy and comfortable for us to follow up. Knowing that emails often get lost or buried, I posed a new question.
I asked the lady who introduced me if she had our numbers on her phone. When she replied in the affirmative, I asked my new acquaintance if a group text message would be appropriate. He was thrilled that we could skip all the extra steps that came with an email, as was I! This way, We cut down the time and energy dedicated to making the connection.
Focusing on personal introductions and building genuine relationships can create a supportive and thriving community. The emphasis on mutual respect, meaningful conversations, and authenticity helps establish connections that are beneficial for business and enriching on a personal level.
In a world where business interactions can often feel transactional and impersonal, taking the time to make introductions meaningful and personal can set us apart. What can you do today to make your introductions more effective instead of just efficient?
