If your management style sounds like a performance review, you're doing it wrong.
Let’s be honest. Most managers aren't coaching. They’re critiquing. They’re recapping calls, pointing out mistakes, and slapping labels on behavior instead of leading reps to insight. The problem? Feedback creates defensiveness. Observation creates awareness.
And that’s the shift today’s leaders need to make.
Feedback Feels Like a Threat. Observation Feels Like a Gift.
There’s a reason your reps brace themselves when you say, “Can I give you some feedback?”
No one likes surprise critiques. It triggers anxiety. It shuts down curiosity. Even your best performers start focusing on looking good instead of getting better.
If you want to inspire real change, start with this mindset:
You're not there to evaluate. You’re there to observe.
Try this instead:
“Hey, I joined five calls last week. Want to know what I noticed?”
“Let me share a pattern I’ve seen across the team.”
“What do you think about what just happened there?”
That subtle shift makes a significant impact. Reps don’t feel attacked; they feel seen. They become more open to coaching because they’re part of the discovery process.
Why Most Managers Don’t Actually Coach
Let’s call it out: the coaching gap in most organizations is not about time. It’s about skill.
Most managers were promoted because they were top performers. But nobody ever taught them how to observe, guide, and develop other humans. They know how to close deals, but they don’t know how to build closers.
In the absence of training, they default to feedback loops, spreadsheets, or, worst of all, silence.
If you want your people to grow, you have to be with them.
Observation > Opinion
Great coaching starts in the field. Not in a dashboard.
The managers who coach best are the ones who sit in on calls, watch what’s actually happening, and bring real observations back to the team.
For example:
- “I noticed we’re avoiding the budget conversation until late in the process. Why?”
- “Three calls this week ended with vague next steps. What’s making that happen?”
- “We’re doing too much talking and not enough listening. What’s the cost of that?”
That’s how you build self-awareness. That’s how you coach for real behavioral change.
A Simple Playbook to Coach Through Observation
If you’re ready to ditch the feedback sandwich and start coaching like a leader, here’s the move:
- Be present. Sit in on real calls. Don’t rely on CRM notes or hearsay.
- Take notes, not scorecards. Capture what happened, not what went wrong.
- Lead with questions. Let reps reflect on their own behavior before offering thoughts.
- Find themes, not flukes. Look for repeatable patterns that show what needs work.
- Coach the belief, not just the behavior. Address the mindset behind the action.
If you want to impact your team’s results, it requires a mindset shift around coaching that builds trust, develops talent, and turns managers into leaders.
And if you’re still giving feedback without being in the field… You’re not coaching. You’re guessing.
If you have questions or want help improving your coaching, let’s chat.
