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What is Self-Worth?


You are where you are today not by accident, but by choice. You are getting paid today exactly how much you think you are worth. You are in relationships today exactly how you believe those relationships should be. You are as healthy as you believe you deserve to be. Your body weight and your physique are exactly how you see yourself. You are where you are today financially because of what you believe around money.

All of this is your self-worth. At the end of this blog, I will share some techniques to increase your SELF-WORTH! Your self-worth is your identity as to how you see yourself conceptually and when you were born you were perfect. In fact, you are still perfect today. When you were born and as you started to grow and experience things, you started to create associations and create memories with emotional attachments. Think of the next meal or the hot stove. Both very memorable and very emotional and you learned from both. My guess is you still have a strong emotional association with the next meal and the hot stove. That is subconscious programming at work. 90-95% of your daily programming is from the subconscious mind, thus you only have 5-10% conscious thinking to create a new experience/emotion to something new. Now imagine you have those experiences, associations, and emotions attached to them going on in pretty much every area of your life. You have an association or emotional memory attached to everything you encounter. Every time something new, unfamiliar, uncertain is about to happen, you will most likely revert back to safety and let the subconscious mind take over without even knowing it.
We will be talking financially to prove the point, but this concept can be applied in all areas of your life. Your associations with money are very powerful and they have been ingrained into your subconscious for a long time. Think about your perceptions of money. Does money grow on trees? Is a penny saved a penny earned? Should you mind your pennies and everything else will be ok? Money doesn’t come easily? These are all stories that we have been told our whole life.

Your personality or who you are is based on how you think, act & feel, create your reality in how you view things, what you have experienced, and what emotions you attach to those experiences. You have over 80,000 thoughts a day. Think about that. 80,000 thoughts that you are mostly not even considering their impact on you. They are cemented in your subconscious mind. Do you suppose most of those thoughts are positive in nature? As I write this blog I am having negative thoughts around who will want to read it. We all have a lot of negative self-talk going on. Especially when it comes to experiencing new things.

Let’s talk about income. You are getting paid today what you believe you are worth. If you are in sales or in a role where you have the ability to earn more money, you can have a really great quarter and crush it. You can be on pace to double your income that year. So let’s say you are used to making $80,000/year and you are on pace to earn $160,000/yr. Your self-worth is still at $80,000 and if that is all you have ever made and do not really believe you are worth the $160,000, you will start to doubt yourself saying things like “that was a great quarter, I am good, but not that good.” You will then behave differently and that behavior will take your activities down to a level that is more comfortable for you to believe. You may increase your income to $100,000, possibly more, but most people will not keep the gas pedal on to hit the $160,000 because they do not feel that they are worth it.

I have seen this countless times in my career and it is spot on. So now the question is “how long will it take to increase my self-worth?” That depends. It depends on several factors:

  • How hard are you willing to work on yourself?
  • Are you coachable?
  • Are you willing to put in the effort to achieve more?
  • Do you have the support system in place? People.

The person that got you to $80,000 in income will not be the same person that takes you to $160,000 in income. You can do it, you just have to become someone else in the process. “You have to work harder on yourself than you do at your job,” by Jim Rohn.

Let’s start with the support system, people. Jim Rohn said, “you are the average of the 5 people you hang around the most.”
Think about that.

  • • Who are you spending your time with?
  • • What do they have you doing?
  • • What do they have you thinking?
  • • What do they have you saying?
  • • What do they have you reading?
  • • Where are they going?
  • • Is that all ok?

One of the fastest ways to increase your self-worth is to increase the caliber of people you associate with. There are plenty of negative people out there who want to bring you down to their level so that they will feel better about themselves. You have to identify those people and avoid them like the plague. Does this mean you have to alienate some old friendships? Yes, to a degree. Darren Hardy said in his book The Compound Effect, “there are 3 minute people in your life, 3-hour people in your life and 3-day people in your life.” You have to choose wisely on which ones you give your time to. So you don’t have to alienate them, just limit your exposure to them and know that going into a conversation you may have to respectfully leave early.

Are you coachable? Are you willing to put in the effort needed? Do you accept 100% responsibility for where you are today spiritually, mentally, financially, physically, & emotionally? You need to own your present reality. This is another key area where people let themselves down. You are saying to yourself, “I don’t need to do that, it’s just not me.” “That stuff doesn’t work for me.” “I don’t have the time to sit for 30-minutes a day and think about what I am thinking about and write out where I want to go, that stuff doesn’t work anyway.”

Start by reading 10-pages a day of really good books.

  • Think & Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill
  • Jim Rohn books
  • John Maxwell books
  • You Can’t Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike in a Seminar by David Sandler.
  • The Slight Edge, Jeff Olson

Those are all a great start. Then you have to start to apply what you are learning.
Get really clear on what your life long goals are, what your 5-10 year goals are, and what your 90-day and one-year goals are.
Next, think about what you are thinking about. This is journaling. Napoleon Hill teaches that you should spend 30-minutes a day thinking about who you intend to become. This is no small task. Journaling is the best way to do this daily.
Journaling is not what you probably think it is. The way we teach it is to write out the person you intend to become in the present tense. Write out your income you expect with a specific date. Write out the specific time frame you expect that income. Write out the relationships you intend to have. Write out the spiritual connection will intend to have. Write out how much you plan to give back. Those are examples and once you are clear on who you will become and what you intend to do, then we teach an acronym called B-A-G-E-L-S to keep it simple.


You’ll want to begin your day by writing down specific activities or actions that you wish to complete, and how they’ll allow you to track towards your short and long-term goals. If you have yet to identify the objectives you want to achieve, start by doing that since your goals should be the basis of your daily actions.


You’ll begin to see that these steps all stack on one another. After you’ve identified how you want to act, consider what beliefs you must adopt to exceed expectations and complete those actions. Affirmations can be simple or complex, depending on what is a motivating factor for you. Experiment with different beliefs and determine which are most effective for you as you pursue your objectives. Use present tense as if you are already there or in the process of doing it.


Speaking of “objectives,” this is the section when you determine the actionable items that you wish to accomplish today. Goals vary from behaviors because they are specific achievements, rather than the actions you must take to achieve them. You are able to complete your goals by changing your behavior.


As B.A.G.E.L.S. is a daily process, when you get to this step, look at your actions from the day before and determine the achievements and failures you encountered. This step isn’t meant to reward or punish you for performance, but instead, serve as a method for tracking your progress towards ultimate success.

Lessons Learned:

This step is a chance to examine your progress and determine what it means for you moving forward. Based on your lessons learned from the previous day, how will that determine your behaviors and goals for the next day? Assess your evaluations and see what valuable insights you can take away from them.


Finally, as you wrap up your new daily routine, gauge the level of accomplishment to this point, and determine if you can set your sights even higher going forward. As you progress as a seller and individual, the view of yourself and your industry will change. Be prepared to reassess what you aim to achieve as you progress through your career.

If you do all of this long enough, there is no way you cannot increase your self-worth. The challenge here is doing it long enough and consistently and really believing it will work. Hang around people doing this stuff to help keep you on track. Find accountability partners or hire a coach. All top performers have a coach to help them stay true to themselves.
At Life Consulting – A Sandler Training Company, we work with individuals and teams from larger businesses to reinforce what we teach. We live the process, we execute the little things, we know they all work. What a lot of people need is the environment to support them and inspire them to do more and be more.
If you have a sales team or you as an individual are struggling with:

  • Stagnant growth
  • Income ceilings
  • Not living your full potential
  • You are aspiring to take your game to the next level

Then hiring a great coach and training organization may be exactly what you need.

We are happy to meet and see if we are a good fit or if we should recommend something else. Not everyone is a good fit for what we do.


Dr. Joe Dispenza – Chapter 3 – He references two other books as well, subconscious is 90-95% of your mind. (Dispenza, 2012)
Dr. Joe Dispenza – Chapter 1 – Dr Dispenza references your personality creates your personal reality. You are who you are by the associations you have with your past experiences or the experiences of others you trust. (Dispenza, 2012)

Steve Aune

Steve Aune

Steve Aune is an Executive Coach who's focus is helping leaders of organizations excel. Steve brings a unique perspective to each client engagement with his vast experience and business acumen.